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[first thing: yea I have a german blog but you will need a PW to enter there ... ask me if you really want ^^ ... and yea my english is bad ^^ BUT I have to practice if I want to live in the uk ... so I'm sorry for that ... just hope that sumone still understand what I have to say ôo (between the german parts of course)]
I hate it to be scared ... I hate it when I don't know what's coming/happening next. I hate it when something bad is happening to one of my friends.I wish I could do anything. Really. But I can not - again. It's like a curse or something like that. (Again) I'm in the wrong place ...
Ich habe die ganze Nacht getrunken ... konnte nicht an mich halten. Es war nie genug. Der Schmerz innendrinn war immer größer. Egal was ich mir angetan habe, was ich versucht habe, was ich gedacht habe - nichts konnte all das besser machen.
Aber ich bleibe optimistisch ... ich will gar nicht anders müssen ... ich könnte es nicht - nicht in der situation ...
Oh and I've made a decision ... I just came back from London I know ... and I wanted to go back there for holidays next year ... but after September If it works out I will go back up there for work ... 6 months ... I have to ... something inside of me tells me so - that is the right thing to do.
So I just have to plan what I want to do, where I could live and stuff like that ... Let's see ...
Im moment will ich aber einfach hoffen das alles wieder gut wird ... u.u